When Your Parents Need to Move in to Your Home
If you’re considering sharing your home with your parents or in-laws, here are some potential problems to watch out for and some tips on how to solve them:
- Who’s going to do what? Talk through everything, divide the chores and put it in writing. Decide who’ll cook, clean, shop, wash clothes and provide child care and/or elderly care. You even want to decide who is in charge of the television – yes, things as small as this can become major conflicts.
- Who’s going to pay for what and how much? Make a list of estimated expenses and determine how much everyone will pay. You may even want to consider asking siblings to contribute, if the budget is tight.
- What happens when your parent needs care? Get help. Find out about community services for seniors at your city or county Office on Aging, which is also known as the Department of Senior Services. To find the office closest to you, contact the Eldercare Location Service of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Geriatric Care Managers (GCMs) are another resource who can arrange for ongoing care. For the names of local GCMs, visit org.
- How will I ever have any privacy? Establish zones of privacy. It’s crucial that everyone have their own space, even if it’s just a bedroom with a comfortable chair and a good reading lamp. If you have the money to renovate, consider creating a separate living space for your parents with a bedroom, sitting area, bath, microwave and refrigerator. Another idea is to move into a larger [city] home. You and your parents could invest in it together.
- Will my parents’ Medicaid or my taxes be impacted? Ask an elder care lawyer, financial planner or CPA. You don’t want any surprises.
While you love your parents, you also want what’s best for them and for you and your family. Think through this decision carefully. Having good visits with your parents doesn’t necessarily equate to a good co-living arrangement.
Whether you’re looking for a larger home to share with multiple generations or a smaller, one-story home for your elderly parents, I can help. Give me a call or email me for more information.